Saturday, March 21, 2015

*Maybe Baby I'll Have You

Yay! Today I cooked lunch for my uncles from Wisconsin. Arroz con pollo. Ensalada de aguacate y mango. Flan. I was too busy making it all to take pictures. Suffice to say it was yummy! It was wonderful to see them. I wish I could've seen more of my family but only because I am greedy. Lunch was delicious and they brought a wonderful bottle of bubbly.
Here they are with Harrison.

Yay! We got to see Ponytrap at the Dive Bar for SxSW featuring Hilary and Quentin and robots! 
Aren't they super cool? I totally try to absorb cool points by hanging out with them. How am I doing? 

Yay! We got to see Harrison perform as tiny Han Solo in tiny Star Wars!

He's on the platform using a lightsabers to fight Darth Vader JUST LIKE IN A NEW HOPE SHUTUP. 

Yay! I'm reading a good book - Tell the Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt. It's a first novel set in the 80s and told from the perspective of a young girl who has lost a beloved and wildly creative uncle to AIDS and her connection to the partner he leaves behind. Brilliant and moving. Which is kind of a boo, really, but I'll keep it in the yay column because I'm cool like that. PS - I am NOT freaked out that setting something in the late 80s is now a period piece. AM NOT. 

Yay! We talked about visiting Cuba next year and my uncle Ricardo said just to tell him when we wanted to go and they would go with us. WOOOT!

boo - average sleep the last few nights 3.5 hours. What the heck, body? Why you gotta be that way? On the other hand - more time for reading and behaving badly. Always a plus. Think I'll move this to boo plus or yay minus. 

YAY! I love the Texas mountain laurel that blooms this time of year. I love it so much I named my oldest daughter Madison Laurel. We didn't have one though until a few months ago when Jeff bought one and planted it in our yard and it bloomed! My very own Madison Laurel! 

Yay Yay Yay - life is so good y'all. I found this journal entry from ten years ago when we decided to have another baby (and boy howdy were people shaking their heads over this decision given how many kids we already had!) I called the potential baby a maybe and wrote this letter. That maybe baby is almost nine now. 

February 5, 2005

Dear Maybe,

Right now you are a twinkle in your father's eye and I want to capture this for you. Maybe you will read this when you are a grown up and it will be wonderful for you to know how we thought about you before you ever came to be. I spent ten minutes today looking at tiny little sneakers and trying to imagine your feet in them. I am in love with your fingernails and your little thumbs and your round belly. I want to know if you will come to be. I want to know if there will be just one of you or two (or three!) Since Madison and Griffin are twins we are preparing ourselves for the possibility that there might be two of you. We like to joke that you will be two boys and we will name you Jean Luc and Gandalf. By the time you are five you will know what those two names mean. By the time you are born (if you are born) your brothers will be 13 and 11 or older. By the time you are five it is likely that you will be able to do more things than they can do now. Sometimes I am sad about that. Still, little Maybe, I am confident that you will be able to do all the regular things and that we will be very proud of you.

Sometimes when I read a very good book I can't get out of the bookworld in my head. I like to live in there and talk to the characters and think about the things they do. These days, Maybe, I can't stop talking to you and thinking about you. Will your eyes be big and blue like Dylan and Cassidy and your Daddy? Will they be big and dark brown like mine and Griffin's? Or will they be that light sparkly brown like Madison's eyes?

There was a very sad poet named Anne Sexton who once wrote about her baby "I made you to find me". You will not be made to find us, we know where we are and it is a good and happy place. You will be made to find you, a piece of us we love very much.


*Maybe Baby - Buddy Holly

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